12.13.2010

The Last Two Weeks

It's 3;10 a.m.. I'm sitting in Starbucks drinking a bottle of Tazo green tea and I just got out of work. The last two weeks have been fucking horrible and the timing couldn't be better because it continues my streak of horrible holiday seasons. You see, I don't remember the last time I've a good or even mediocre holiday season and even though I'm not religious it's still kind of depressing.
A girl I was dating for about six months just told me she didn't want to see me anymore and the saddest part is that I didn't even think it was a "relationship"; we were casually dating but I was the one that wanted a relationship and not pushing for it in anyway. We were more like friends with benefits, so what reason would someone have for not wanting to keep sleeping with someone they were already sleeping with anyway? I guess you have to know the details to be able to answer that question. Moving on...I'm starting to realize that I can't trust anyone that I know and that most of them are selfish pieces of shit. Pretty much everyone in Vegas fits in this category and although I've known this for a while; it's really starting to piss me off now.
Sometimes I wonder...is life really worth living? I kind of already know the answer to this question and people will always say to me of course it's worth living. They will say that life is full of beauty, which is very true, but...most of it is ugly, and one only needs to look around to realize this fact. Most of us live on the plane of mediocrity and that is the worst place to live; worse than living spectacularly and even worse than not being alive at all. I've decided to stop being a nice person and start doing more of what I want to do regardless of the consequences.

5 comments:

Allison said...

I bet it's easy to be cynical and bitter about life in Las Vegas.

Jimmy said...

Yeah it is really easy, but can't say for sure if it's just me or the city in general.

FB @ FabulouslyBroke.com said...

Of course life is worth living, but why not leave the city if you can? Try a fresh new environment. Perhaps you're just mad at the city.

You'll never know until you see if it's you or the city.

Tori Lyn said...

I agree with the blogger above me, I think leaving or perhaps even taking a little mini vacation might help you with your unhappiness. I've been reading a few posts of your blog and am now following!

screamingnspace said...

agree w/ FB and Tori, day trips out of the city can be really helpful.

on another note, is it just me or is it really hard to have that holiday spirit right after a breakup? feel like it really sours the Christmas (or whatever ya happen to celebrate) cheer. totally know where you're comin from *hugs*

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